Reminded of that time the xkcd guy was trying to research what sports equipment would be most effective for destroying enemy drones in flight and he looked up a bunch of stats about pro tennis player accuracy against stationary targets like 40 feet away, and figured that a really high level tennis pro might be able to hit the drone in 5-7 shots if they had the time and even then probably wouldn’t do enough damage to disrupt it more than momentarily.
And then Serena volunteered to test this theory and just, killed it instantly.
i see people saying shit like “she’s the best woman player” nah fam she’s the best one out there
After finishing Part 4 of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina… I just can’t stop thinking about Ambrose.
[CONTAINS SPOILERS]
His relationship with Sabrina was always my favorite and after that horrible ending my heart is completely broken for him. I think the reason this season highlighted their bond so much was to make that ending hurt even more.
He loved Sabrina.
He was always supportive even when he knew her plans were wrong/dangerous, even when he told her not to do things and she didn’t listen.
He dealt with her antics, helped her clean the mess she often made, without asking for anything in return.
Always, but especially this season, he was protective and soft and caring and my heart was soaring at their every interaction.
So to see him barely holding himself together at her funeral, arms wrapped around himself like it’s the only thing keeping him from completely falling apart… It was unbearable.
It didn’t even really hit me until now, after seeing Sabrina’s memories of her birthdays that… That he was there, all the time, watching her grow. It’s not that I forgot about it, that information was always in the back of my head, but seeing their dynamic - I never really thought about that until now. He, alongside Zelda and Hilda watched her grow up. He helped raise her. While Aunties acted as substitute for a mother for Sabrina, it’s safe to say that sometimes Ambrose took on the mantle of a father. Sometimes an older brother. Sometimes a teacher. He embodied all of those roles Sabrina needed in her life.
I can’t stop thinking how guilty he must feel. How much he blames himself for what happened.
He stopped Prudence from killing Blackwood only for Blackwood to become the main reason Sabrina had to die - he brought the Eldrich Terrors, he turned Sabrina into a shadow of herself and brainwashed her into sacrificing herself (I’m not saying Sabrina wouldn’t do it otherwise, she is the type of person who would gladly lay her life down for her loved ones. What I’m saying is that without Blackwood’s influence she would agree to search for another way first).
The ending made me furious. Wasn’t this show first and foremost about family? Weren’t the Spellmans supposed to be the main focus really? Yes, Sabrina was the star but there’s more to her character than a boyfriend she ends up with. But in typical Riverdale fashion (thanks, Roberto) everything ended up about ships and that’s infuriating.
Without mentioning the very fucked up way the “endgame” happened (as much as I love Nabrina) - this was NOT what I wanted to see.
If Sabrina really had to die - fine. I can live with that. Not my first main character death and not my last.
But show me how the life goes on. How her loved ones grieve and come out of that grief.
We got Zelda and Hilda grieving but it was brief and focused more on their shattered faith in Hekate than on their actual grief.
Except for those few heartbreaking shots during the funeral, we didn’t see Ambrose’s reaction AT ALL, really.
I wanted to see his face in that cave, right after. He stood beside Hilda, holding on to Sabrina’s knee but that wasn’t enough.
I wanted to see how he and the aunties are doing after all of this. And I’m not talking hours or days after, but months, maybe years.
I know all of that depened on when they found out about cancellation. You can’t deny this wasn’t written as if Sabrina wasn’t supposed to come back next season.
But still, even with a little time and space for changes, they could have done so much better.
This content includes swearing and spoilers for Chilling Adventures of Sabrina season 4.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Season 04 Episode 01 “Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Eldritch Dark” (2020) Rating: 3/5
I enjoyed this episode and thought it was a good start to the new season although I’ll admit the recap didn’t do enough to remind me what happened in the past seasons because I’d fully forgotten about some of the relationship dynamics that were happening and some of the past plot points. Either way when I did settle back into the show I found I enjoyed this episode.
In episode one Sabrina finds herself re-adjusting to life on Earth at High School and the Academy but she’s feeling unfulfilled and lonely when the first of the Eldritch terrors hits Greendale. Sabrina and her friends must figure out how to banish this new foe.
I find it difficult to talk about episodes without getting into spoilers so here’s your spoiler warning for episode 1!
[Spoilers!]
There was quite a few things I liked about this episode, first of all I just feel so happy to have these characters back in my life. The CAOS team write such good characters and I genuinely have so much love for so many of them that I was just filled with so much joy seeing them back on screen and I have to recognise how beautifully diverse the cast and characters are. CAOS is up there as one of the most diverse shows I’ve ever watched! And they’re all amazing!
I also really liked the story with both Sabrinas coming together. I think it could have been so easy for the creators to take the Sabrinas and turn them against each other but I’m glad they didn’t do that. The friendship between the two Sabrinas is so sweet, they clearly need each other so much and I hope this relationship continues to grow throughout the season (and I’m sure it will because we know Brina is going to fuck with the timeline somehow). I also really liked Sabrina (earth Brina) venturing out there in the relationship department. It’s nice to see her trying new things and not just bouncing between Harvey and Nick all the time. I specifically really like her new interest in Melvin because I think generally he wouldn’t be Sabrina’s type but he’s so cute and I love that she’s giving him a chance!
But, as much as there was parts that I generally liked about this episode there were also specific parts that I really disliked. Two main reasons this episode came to a 3 star is that (1) I couldn’t see what was going on because it was so dark and (2) there was some obvious padding and general weird moments in the plot. Let’s address them in order.
1 - Yes, I know the whole point of this episode is that darkness is taking over but when the episode itself is so dark that I can’t actually see what is going on that makes it difficult. It brought me right back to watching The Long Night (Game of Thrones, 2019) and how bad that was at the time. I don’t think it was quite as bad in Sabrina but it really was too dark that I struggled to see what was going on. Most of the time it was ok because the characters are few enough and distinct enough to be able to tell who is who and there’s no heavy action sequences but it’s still just very annoying to see my face reflecting back at me from my ipad.
2 - There was one plot point in particular that I thought was pretty filler but I do know it had it’s uses. The bit where Sabrina “evokes” Bloody Mary and that whole section felt like a waste of time and also pretty weird in tone for the rest of the episode. I think it would have made more sense if we got to see things like the Fright Club meeting for milkshakes or their relationship afterwards or even if there was more fallout when Rosalind finds out what was going on. From the direction this was going in I thought we were getting a “girl who cried wolf” type episode but instead it just felt shoved in to have the minimal character development Sabrina needed. I think this concept would have been fine for an episode on its own but of course you want your first episode back to be a big hitter and the Eldritch darkness is a big big bad so it was a good villain for the first episode but I also do think it would have been too weird to then put this as the second episode after the terror. Either way, it felt weird shoehorned into this one and I wish it had a bit more development and even an episode entirely dedicated to this one aspect of Sabrina’s life. I also think that the bit with Mary and the new church was a bit weird and, again, should have more time dedicated to it. Maybe if they had taken out the part with the Fright Club and used that time to develop Mary and her introduction to the church it would have worked a bit better but as it is currently it just felt a bit weird mixed in with everything else.
All this being said, I really did enjoy the episode and I’m looking forward to continuing to watch it!